RAIN
Yesterday I went to a museum with my partner. I hadn’t slept well but for the rest I felt fine. The museum was crowded.
Soon, I started feeling uneasy, slightly anxious. When I had realized that this museum visit would be spoiled if I’d stay in this mood, I started investigating where this feeling came from. It occurred to me that the thought « this is too much, I can’t handle so many people around me » was in my head. So, to release the pressure that came from this thought, I established an intention: « If it gets too much, it’s okay to just leave. » Soon after that, I felt easier, more relaxed, the anxiety was gone.
Amazing. Problem solved.
Unfortunately, in daily life this is often not what happens. Throughout the day we experience changes in our mood and emotions, and these mood swings can feel like something just inexplicably happening to us, almost like a higher force, upon which we have little or no influence. And thus, we accept them as a given: we identify with them. Meanwhile, in reality mood swings are often caused by thoughts or thought patterns within ourselves of which we are barely aware. Which means that if we change the thought patterns, we can change our mood or the way we feel.
Our mind is constantly producing thoughts, images, associations, narratives etc., a flow of thoughts that never stops. This constant river of thoughts, or movements of the mind, has become such an elementary aspect of our awake consciousness that we’ve become used to it, to a degree that we’re barely aware of it anymore. Nevertheless the movements of the mind influence how we feel, and behave.
Compare this to the radio or tv being on while you’re cooking, only half-listening to what you’re constantly exposed to. Imagine 2 scenario’s: In one scenario, you’re cooking while there’s beautiful and uplifting music on the background. In the second scenario the radio only brings news about economic crises, war, corruption and crime. For sure, your two cooking experiences will not be the same, right?
The RAIN-method, a mindfulness practice developed by Tara Brach, is a useful tool to become aware of seemingly inexplicable mood swings, by realizing the underlying thoughts, accepting and investigating them, and giving them what they need. It has helped me in many difficult moments, and the more often you practice it, the better it works. The acronym RAIN stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate and Nurture.
Recognize what is happening: “I realize that I am feeling uneasy and anxious.”
Allow the experience to be there, just as it is, don’t fight it: “It’s okay that I feel like this.”
Investigate with interest and care: “What is it that I need right now?”
Nurture with self-compassion: “I give myself permission to leave if that’s what I need.”
Try it out in a small, everyday situation and let me know what you’re experience was!
